Health, Wealth and Happiness

I know the game was almost 3 weeks ago.  I know.

We were at Aloha Stadium at 6 AM for the game which started at 11:30 AM.  There was  LOT of standing around, and preparing.  It was going to be hot, we all knew, and I had three things to combat the elements.

I had food in my pocket which was against the rules, but I thought necessary.  I had the wonderful samples bottles of Zrii which I took nips on repeatedly throughout the day.  I also had sunscreen which I put on early and often.

Our supervisors were great at dropping off bottles of cold water and I really took advantage  of that.

Oh yes, the game.

The NFC and AFC were introduced and there were the usual Pre Game rituals.  The lady that sang the National Anthem was great and gorgeous too.  The game was pretty good, as much as I could see.  I was standing at the ten yard line. 

In came the cheerleaders, and the mascots followed.  The interesting thing, for the second year in a row, was the appearance of the Japanese cheerleaders.  My only question was,    Why?

It was hot, with no clouds until about the third quarter.  By that time, I was really just attempting to maintain until the end of the day.

We knew that when the game ended we had to stay until all of the players had showered and then left.

The game itself was pretty good and the stands were filled for the most part.  It was  a sell-out. 

We know that there are rumblings about whether to move the Pro Bowl after next year.  All I can say is:  Don’t.  The players love to come to Hawaii and bring their families.

Any option that involves the week before the Super Bowl is flawed because it will result in two teams NOT having any players in the game.  Suggesting that players will turn out in similar numbers to San Diego, or New Orleans for example is wrong Because they already perhaps live there, or go there during the season.  Hawaii is unique and exotic.

Besides, Hawaii needs the Pro Bowl.  The kids that get to watch the practices are encouraged.  Kapolei HS, which benefitted from the installation of the pracice playing field there benefitted immensely.  

Many parks and organizations were blessed to receive financial rewards because of this game, as they do every year.  Many establishments each year do a great business because of the numbers of fans that tag along.   It’s such a perfect fit, that it almost seems like someone along the way will mess with it…

At the end of the game, I said great game to TO.  He said  “I appreciate it.”  (He probably would have appreciated the MVP trophy and vehicle that the winner got, but there could only be one winner, and he lost out.)  We appreciate all of the players that made the trip.

I was to guard the door.  To watch the stuff, to keep it safe.  Who would bother these guys,   or their stuff?  Would anyone take the socks that a sweaty guy in a furry Raccon suit had discarded?  We’ll maybe his iPod…..

But that’s where I was,  NEXT DOOR to the NFL cheerleaders.

There they were, all sparkly with perfectly curled hair and the great outfits.  Every guys dream, right?  Ahhh guess again.  They were all too little for my tastes.  Cute, but almost bird-like.  Not in a bad way.  I guess many, if not most men like them thin and barbie-like.

I was glad to help myself to the fully-stocked buffet in their room when I had gotten permission.  Heck, they didn’t eat anything.  Just a few melon pieces, and bottled water.

This is the big time.  The cheerleaders not only accompany the players that appear at the Por Bowl activities, they even…get this,    sign autographs.  Hmmmm.

I know, they are all people, not objects.  With thoughts and feelings.  It’s a job.  And like the players, the life expectancy for a cheerleader probably doesn’t extend into the thirties that much.

In addition to my duty guarding the room next to the cherrleaders dressing room, I got to stand on the field at the Pro Bowl itself, watching so that no one jumps the fence to come on the field. 

That put me smack dab in the middle of the cheerleaders while they entertained.  I even was pressed into duty watching the ‘boundary’ at the end of the line of performers so that some foreign photographer didn’t invade their space,   again.

Memo to all the pretend photographers in their 40s and 50s that got pics with the cheerleaders (instead of really douing your pretend job)  Get a Life!

Anyway, it is all part of the spectacle that is the NFL and the Pro Bowl.  All the creepy guys in the stands that had the cheerleader calendars and repeatedly called out their names to get pics are fans too.

As for me, I love the NFL.  My team the Bears just did not seem to send much in the way of participants; no mascot, no cheerleaders, and only a couple of players.  C’mon guys, work it out next year, OK? 

When it was all done, as the Blues song says,  “I’m going home, where women got meat on their blones.”

Names like T.D., Staley, Blitz, and K.Rack may NOT strike fear into your heart like ‘The Monsters of the Midway’ or the ‘Purple People-Eaters’.  Of course they’re not supposed to.  These are the NFL Mascots.

Who’s your mascot?

Mine would be Staley, who didn’t make the trip as most of the Chicago Bears did not either.  How ’bout next year guys?

So, who are these mascots anyway?  Well, with a slight apology to my employer over the weekend, I’ll elaborate.

With my part time position working at the Pro-Bowl, one of us was chosen to watch the green room, or staging area for the cheerleaders, and the other, for the mascots.  Many young men would have fought for the right to do the former, but not being a young man, and being happily married (and intending to keep it that way) I chose the latter.

As they bounced along the corridor, and into the room, they were ‘Big Red’ (Arizona Cardinals) and ‘K.R. Wolf’ (Kansas City Chiefs) until the split second the door shut behind them.  Then, as they removed the massive headpieces, and revealed sweaty, but mostly normal looking people underneath, they transformed.  No fans were getting in here.

I watched them tape sore feet, try to re-hydrate, find the right gloves for their next performance, and tell stories.  They relaxed, and checked emails.  They MAY have prefered that I had been outside, but I stayed for the entertainment, and to stay awake.  (I had been on duty outside the NFL Autograph tent for hours in Kapiolani Park…Did I tell you we were in Honolulu?)

Now, I was in the back end of the Marriott Waikiki in a ballroom, with 3 of the guys.  I wonder if they have any female mascots.  That would be a bit dicey in both the present situation and then perhaps on the field.  I’m guessing not.

The high-maintenance (by design) cheerleaders next door had their curling irons, and fancy matching sparkly jackets.  And a full buffet as only the Marriott could prepare (and the NFL could pay for). 

These normal-looking men had gym bags, Seahawk and Cardinal Heads laying around, and an ice-water cooler in the back.  Something was wrong.

“Let’s go get some food, they won’t need it.” 

True, NFL Cheerleader scales only go up to 110 lbs, I believe.  I think they survive on one piece of melon and two sips of purified water every two hours.

Anyway, the next two hours watching the belongings and area was not exciting.  What was though, was to discover another little sub-culture, if you will of people, who work in  the entertainment business.  Yes, the job IS year-round. 

Yes, it’s tough if your team went 1 and 15.  But not THAT tough.  You’re still a cute fuzzy aqatic-mammal that everybody wants a picture with.  And, of course you know who the team needs to draft in April, and probably how many wins the new coach needs to keep his job.

I still think that wolf looks like a rat….

I am a life long Chicago Bears fan.  This needs to be explained.  By the way, the Bears’ disappointing season ended a couple of weeks ago.  Except for, I guess, 3 of them, the team is able to golf, do family type things, and get ready for next year.

 Meanwhile the hated rivals from the north are still playing, and playing quite well, I must say.  Brett Favre looks like a 25 year old kid as he slaps the ref five threee times or throws a snowball at one of his team mates.

All of this because they are routinely tuning up their opposing tems on the frozen (or sloshy) tundra of Lambeau Field.  I still enjoy watching good football, something that escaped the Bears through much of the season.

Now, I am not a bandwagon jumper.  I used to root for the Pack when the Bears were out of it.  It makes us all look better if a fellow division team does well in the post season, RIGHT?

Anyway, next July when the Bears head to training camp, I will be back on board with the team.  In fact, on NFL Draft Day some time in late April, my eyes will be glued to the set to see who MY team takes from the ranks of the collegiate gladiators.  May I suggest a certain number 15 from the Hawaii Warriors?