Health, Wealth and Happiness

Yes I am qualified to train people on this.  August 21, 2008 will be the 4 year anniversary of my heart attack.

 1.  No matter what, DON’T exercise.  Relax on the couch as much as possible.  It’s exercise to type on the keyboard and surf through all those exhausting miles on the net.  Rush hour traffic in Milwaukee/Honolulu/Insert your city is burning some calories too, for sure.  Run up to work when you get there 3 minutes after 8AM, it gets the blood moving.

2.  Hold in that stress that comes from financial dealings.  In fact, make sure that you are flying by the seat of your pants all the time.  Make sure EVERY car payment and mortgage payment get in just before the penalties are assessed.  Heck, having a mortgage these days is stressful enough isn’t it?

3.  Make sure that you really raise your voice when you talk to Customer Service people and bill-collectors.  They are evil.  Some of them are in India and the Philippines.  Those people not only speak a diferent brand of English, but they may have stolen one of your friends’ jobs along the line.  They don’t like you and get a kick out of sticking it to you, because they can.  The ones in the US are easeier to get to by pushing their buttons.  Make sure you win every argument and conversation with these people.  Let them and everyone else, for that matter know what a victim you are.

4.  Always keep your plate full and when necessary, get more plates.

5.  Keep your home environment in a constant state of confusion-THAT burns calories as well.  Find people that will contribute to that chaos and get them to move in,  it helps with the mortgage payment.  Extra points if you find anyone that is a compulsive liar, compulsive hoarder, an addict or thinks he is Jesus Christ.

6.  Keep up the illusion that you are as healthy as ever.  Ignore all reasonable suggestions from well-meaning friends, especially those with healthcare backgrounds.  Always play softball on the church league so that you exhibit your athleticism to as many people as possible.

7.  Use a ton of caffeine.  It gets you going.  It is your friend.  Caffeine has other helpers, usually found in soda and Snickers.  The resulting sludge that used to be called your blood is of no concern, heck you are only in your 40s.  Drink energy drinks, they keep you going, keep you young.

8.  Diet.  Make sure that you eat plenty.  WHAT you eat is of no real concern since you take daily vitamins.  You’re a fast mover and fast food fuels your lifestyle.  Try NOT to eat fast food more than 3 times a day though, that would be overdoing it.  Eat regional foods, support local businesses.  Wisconsin Cheese-heck, put cheese on everything.  Cows, they are dairy, right?  Eat a lot of red meat.  When in Rome….Eat a lot of bratwurst, you’re German aren’t you?  Pizza is good-eat a lot, you really like to eat don’t you.  Skip fruit and vegetables, too much trouble.  If you eat too many hotdogs, stop for a while when you develop gout.  Then you can restart after it clears up.

9.  Sleep?  Sleep is a sign of weakness.  Only sleep when you have to.  Your bed is better than using your keyboard as a pillow, however.  Make that necessary sleep from 4-5 hours tops.  (That way you have more time to enjoy your wonderful life.)  Make sure when you do pop out of bed, you hit the ground running.

The author, Rick Emmerich is a heart health enthusiast.  Once is enough.   Having practiced the above techniques and attained the result, he has now made MANY changes, including marrying  Dr. Malia.   http://rickemmerich.com, twitter: @hearthealthguy    www.holyteaclub.com/rickemmerich     www.rickemmerich.myzrii.com    facebook, and the other usual hangouts.  This entry is a small portion of a future Thank God I book series publication, Thank God I had a heart attack.   To order the first book of the series     click here   http://thankgodi.com/?idAff=4              rick   808 371-6501