Health, Wealth and Happiness

Names like T.D., Staley, Blitz, and K.Rack may NOT strike fear into your heart like ‘The Monsters of the Midway’ or the ‘Purple People-Eaters’.  Of course they’re not supposed to.  These are the NFL Mascots.

Who’s your mascot?

Mine would be Staley, who didn’t make the trip as most of the Chicago Bears did not either.  How ’bout next year guys?

So, who are these mascots anyway?  Well, with a slight apology to my employer over the weekend, I’ll elaborate.

With my part time position working at the Pro-Bowl, one of us was chosen to watch the green room, or staging area for the cheerleaders, and the other, for the mascots.  Many young men would have fought for the right to do the former, but not being a young man, and being happily married (and intending to keep it that way) I chose the latter.

As they bounced along the corridor, and into the room, they were ‘Big Red’ (Arizona Cardinals) and ‘K.R. Wolf’ (Kansas City Chiefs) until the split second the door shut behind them.  Then, as they removed the massive headpieces, and revealed sweaty, but mostly normal looking people underneath, they transformed.  No fans were getting in here.

I watched them tape sore feet, try to re-hydrate, find the right gloves for their next performance, and tell stories.  They relaxed, and checked emails.  They MAY have prefered that I had been outside, but I stayed for the entertainment, and to stay awake.  (I had been on duty outside the NFL Autograph tent for hours in Kapiolani Park…Did I tell you we were in Honolulu?)

Now, I was in the back end of the Marriott Waikiki in a ballroom, with 3 of the guys.  I wonder if they have any female mascots.  That would be a bit dicey in both the present situation and then perhaps on the field.  I’m guessing not.

The high-maintenance (by design) cheerleaders next door had their curling irons, and fancy matching sparkly jackets.  And a full buffet as only the Marriott could prepare (and the NFL could pay for). 

These normal-looking men had gym bags, Seahawk and Cardinal Heads laying around, and an ice-water cooler in the back.  Something was wrong.

“Let’s go get some food, they won’t need it.” 

True, NFL Cheerleader scales only go up to 110 lbs, I believe.  I think they survive on one piece of melon and two sips of purified water every two hours.

Anyway, the next two hours watching the belongings and area was not exciting.  What was though, was to discover another little sub-culture, if you will of people, who work in  the entertainment business.  Yes, the job IS year-round. 

Yes, it’s tough if your team went 1 and 15.  But not THAT tough.  You’re still a cute fuzzy aqatic-mammal that everybody wants a picture with.  And, of course you know who the team needs to draft in April, and probably how many wins the new coach needs to keep his job.

I still think that wolf looks like a rat….